This Skin

Naked. Sitting on my bed. The stress settles onto my shoulders a familiar resting place. Weary from the journey, the fight, the so far.

I laid out with the girls today, we spoke casually of what was to come. Baby, marriage, relocation, life in general was happening at lightening speed around us. While I play pro-bono shrink, I don't have much to comment on for myself. Nothing has made it to the surface yet, though in my mind thoughts are moving at light speed. An idea presents itself, I analyze, make sense of, absorb and file away. I've been doing a lot of filing away since.
A re-birth if you will, while I continue my solid exterior I stay uncertain with my soul. Afraid to take the first steps. Frozen. Disappointment flashes through my mind, how can I be frozen. The thought of lack of movement and even questioning myself stifles me.
I retreat, within myself. Gather up what I hold dear and try to keep it a float.

Naked, clueless, and drinking milk, like the day I was born.
Except now I don't cry when I'm spanked. My milk comes over ice with vodka and Kahlua. I don't get sent to the corner for biting. Rolling on the floor with the dogs is encouraged. Oh, and no bed time.

-n