Spanking Should Be Spontaneous

We're not talking about at tap on the ass as we pass through the door in front of you. No, we're talking about a spanking. When asked if I like spanking, I have to pause before answering. Do I like spanking? Sure, when it's appropriate...Wait, not too hard... but not too light... Wait, do I even like spankings?! But there was that one guy... but then that one time... The list could go on and on.

When really it all comes down to a moment, the moment. Any guy who tries to spank me better be damn confident in his actions, because a half-hearted spank could completely kill the mood. Like 'put my pants back on and walk out the door' mood killer.

So over a sushi lunch I bring up spankings and the opinions fly, along with a fair share of judgement. After all spankings aren't for everyone ::maybe biting is more along your lines:: While the boldest of the group is revealed by her liking for a good ol' fashion mark on the hiney. I look at her and explain there is nothing old fashion about that! Confirmed...Some like it hard. Now I hear from the other side of the table, 'I just like squeezing!'. We all send a puzzled look, which told her we were not all on the same page as she broke into explanation. 'Ya' know, when the guy is holding on to you...grabbing really anywhere and everywhere.' A collective nod reaches the table, but that is a subject for another day. The conversation moves into a memory of the first time, 'He just smacked me! I wasn't expecting it, but it was sooo good! Now it's something I look forward.' As expected woman are all over the chart with spanking etiquette, so I move to the other half in hope of more detail opinions.

Unlike the women, the guys got quite excited at the question and stories started to pour in. 'Woman hate being spanked.'
'Not mine, they love it.'
'One spanked me back, that was weird.'
'I always choke, with my hand half way there.'
'How hard is too hard?'
But in the midst of it, one turns to me and ask if I like spanking. My answer is as long as it's done right. Don't just do it...DO IT. With a little shock and amazement across their faces, the group breaks into all kinds of tangents. The most common, all the guys would like to try it. Something I've learned is guys are collectors, they like to have one of everything, a threesome, a super kinky girl, the girl next door, an asian, a blowjob goddess. The original questionee, nods his head and almost yells.

'Do it with some damn conviction.'

Somehow the conversation spirals into, guys wishing girls gave head with conviction ::again a story for another day:: So on that note I exit the conversation with some good info. It seems that this question could not have come at a better time, that or there is a spanking spree spreading through the people I know, because I can say that I've been asked more than three times what I think about spanking. Funny you should ask...check out my blog. You can my thoughts and a few more, but to answer your question.

I think it should be spontaneous.

-n

Photo of AA in the city, can you see her?

If You Were Roofied, I'd Come Get You

You can touch it! It looks hard but it's not, everyone always thinks it's hard!
All signs point south at this point, there is no way I'm getting out of this night without first enjoying the downhill slide it was taking.

I'll take you to the beginning of this story. AA has miss scheduled and no longer has a event to attend this night, I call just in time to find all this out. I was in the mood for a drink or two, who better to join me than someone with no plans. She was not very easy to get out of the house, it took lots of convincing and in the end a guilt trip always seems to work. That and a small deal of me picking her up and driving her for the rest of the night, since I was going there anyways. I dress casual thinking a couple of drinks and home again, I have a couple of places I want to stop by but nothing too crazy.

She hops in the car and describes a possible plan B option; Meet her friend and his guests have a drink then back to my plan. It was in the direction we were going and they were waiting for us, so I couldn't really say no. We arrive after a few intros, we are informed that there is a larger group to meet in the City. I am hesitate but leave the decision up to AA, after all I did beg her to come out. A quick shot and we're on our way to Mate` in Georgetown, front row parking a good sign. Out of the car and right in, Mate is a Sushi restaurant and lounge close to the park and water of Georgetown. It boast unique rolls, signature drinks and great happy hour specials. In the evening it turns into a lounge complete with DJ, there are lots of tables so its a good place to get together and talk with friends, also the lack of cover makes it all the better. AA friend scans the crown in search of his friends, nowhere to be found. We order our drinks and from a quick phone call find out the group has already moved on to another venue. Again the decision is left up to AA, my only stipulation that I am not paying a cover at the next location.

New destination, Josephines (cover $20 for guys and girls a like) unless you buy a table. We park in the worlds smallest spot, then walk down the longest alley of my life. Once at the door our new friend is confronted with $80 worth of covers, he was warned that all there is to it. Josephines is a new this past summer to the Vermont Ave & K Street area, it boast the most exclusive club but only because you'll not find many people shelling out $20 to walk through a door with so many choices right around the corner. With bright Red Damask print on the pillars, over abundance of table and two bars there is a lot of space. The group we're meeting is at a table in the sunken in section complete with Gogo dancer on your way down the stairs ::great ass, I'm not afraid to comment::
As we make our way to the table, AA and I are stopped twice at other tables. Seems tonight was a popular night to be out, and since it is a rare occasion to see AA out and about everyone needs some face time. Drink and quick dance at this table, drink and kisses on the cheek at that table, finally back to the new table for what else a drink with some meet and greet. As I look around I relies that the 'Clubbers Elite' are out, Clubber is another work for Lifer, people who loved clubbing when they were younger and now have the money to really club how they want since they're older. People 'staples' of clubs you see them everywhere...I suppose on night like this its good to have a few friends here and there.
The night goes by rather quickly, couple rounds of drinks and lots of dancing to what seemed like the highlights of Old School House, perfectly fitting the crowd. As I take a look around, the most perfect gay man Voguing on the dance floor caught my eye. Later we would meet by chance in the restroom, he would ask about my ethnicity and I would return the inquiry, then we would both comment on how gorgeous each other were and I would compliment on his perfect hair. Then the line of the night is born...

"You can touch it! Everyone thinks it's hard but it's not!"

With that we have a conversation about his elite facebook club and how I should so join. My night is soo done I can home happy as a clam after this ::My obsession with a GBF is finally fulfilled:: But of course the night doesn't end there it goes on and on and on. I leave the restroom with my new GBF and we dance until I'm prompted for another group shot, where I notice AA is looking a little...well intoxicated. I ask her if she is ok and with a nod she turned and made way for the closest porcelain pony. I have a thought to get our coats before following her, since clearly we'll be leaving now. Once in the bathroom I have to wrestle her off the floor and tell her to pull herself together. Your walking out of here! I am not carrying your ass! Heartless, maybe a little but she would have done the same for me. Finally, I get her out of the bathroom, but only to find that she's gotten as far as a couch and her friend is trying to coax her out of her child like pout. 'She can't walk.' She's fine, she's walking because no one is going to carry her. 'What's wrong with you? She can't walk' Are you going to carry her? I didn't think so. With a huff he stormed off ::nice friend:: So I look AA in the eyes and tell her to put her coat on because we're leaving. She hops up, puts her coat on and is up the stairs in no time ::that's my girl:: We make it to the car with only stopping once for her to chuck, once in the car we're on our way. She makes me pull over once, with no results so I tell her she holds everything until we're back at my house.

Two signals from my house we're on the side of the road again, but only because AA has opened the door while the car was moving. I look in the rearview mirror and blue light confetti explodes everywhere ::just my luck::

I role down the window and turn to threaten AA to act somewhat sober, by telling her that we're going to jail. She bites back something along the lines of I'm not going to jail, I return with if I'm going to jail so are you whore. By the time I turn back around a female patrol officer has both elbows perched on my window, 'How's it going?'. Good, good. 'Friend having a little trouble?' Um, yeah had to go pick her up, my house is two lights away... 'Have a bag in the car?' Uh, yes. 'Why don't you give that to her.' Ok. 'Good luck getting her home.'
With that she walks away. Yes, you just read that right, she walked away without another word. My first drunken thought, is this a trick? Are there more of her friends down the road waiting to pull me over? Whats happening. She drives past us and waves to me. I think to myself what is the safest way out of this, and then a more prominent thought pops into my head DRIVE WOMAN DRIVE! Parked at last, AA falls out of the passenger seat and is stumbling up the stairs as I pass her for my urgent need to pee. Get her in, undressed, and in a bed with trashcan close by. I'm ready for a bedtime snack of fettuccine Alfredo with chicken and a nice long slumber. Hope this one doesn't hurt too much in the morning.
In the morning over hang-over coffee and croissants, AA asks me how I got her out and then declares that she not doing that again for along time. When she looks to me with an expectation of an answer I simply state, I'm one of your best friends...If you were Roofied, I'd come get you. Just like when you're smashed, I'll get you home. She sticks her tongue out at me and I laugh while I tell her that she has to come with me to my hair appointment before she can go home.

These are the stories we won't tell our children, but definitly make our friendship stronger.

-n

I Love Hearing You Smile

Edating, eaffairs, ebreakups... a time when any relationship can be virtual based. We've come leaps and bounds from the good old 'Mail Order Bride' days to the 'Email Order Bride with Paypal Account now accepted' days.
When lack of self esteem, work, and general life get in the way, people young and old turn to online dating services to get serious and find love in a timely manner on the regular. New in town? Looking for new friends to drink with? New person to cuddle with or maybe just some strange... please see 'personals' via craigslist. A self proclaimed craiglist queen myself, it is my solution for everything and the first place I start research about any random thought that comes to mind. So why would I stop at antique furniture, vacation homes, and job hunting? When one source has everyone and everything you are looking for...

I suppose it would be the lack of physical, but then again find a good writer and you can almost forget all about the physical. But taking it back to when chat became the preferred way to meet and keep in touch with people, the general steps are always the same. Chat with someone have fun once a week, chats pick up to daily, chats pickup to all day. Wait...All Day?! You don't talk to anyone all day, but as a direct result that many jobs are spent all day in front of computers, you have just allowed this personality to walk right into your life and thoughts, that no one else gets a glimpse. I use the word personality because there is no person that goes with this screen name, even with unbelievable connection. A screen name will always be just that, enter what some people may see as the exciting part...not knowing. The whole life and person that you've chatted with could be makebelieve, someones imagination...that has now taken over your imagination.
That doesn't stop anyone, move on to swapping phone numbers. Does this person really speak how they type? Are they as bold over the phone? In the comfort of your own world with the safety of just being able to log-off, may give the extra push to go ahead and tell this personality everything and anything. But link a voice and a name with your screen name and you take the first steps out of that, which may be a good thing or a bad thing. The first conversation filled with butterflies and nerves, but so worth it. Now maybe take a step back, there was enjoyment but a safe step back is better. Couple of days go by, the chats pick up again, the phone calls pick up, the comfort level picks up.
Hold your breath and press the 'send' button, your image just zoomed across cyber space into some strangers grasp, giving them permission to do whatever they would like with it ::whatever:: With a heartbeat skip you open...new email with attachment. With an seemingly equal amount of risk invested, thoughts drift to the next step.
The next adrenalin rush.
The step that could be considered the make or break, but the make or break of what? and whom? No one. Two screen names, linked to countless hours of chatting, and the hope that you land safely after your leap of faith. From here it looks like this step could bring happiness, but sorrow is also lurking close by. Why take the steps into reality, to feed the need of knowledge or maybe the need for that physical piece to finish the puzzle...all of these come at a high price of possibly not having all of the above again.

So maybe this corner of your life that has allowed you to pour out your soul, should be left as is. A place to use as a retreat or just a good distraction, I know I need that from time to time. So, while I set out to write about the steps of an online relationship. I might have found my own corner to retreat to, but currently it's laced with the contentment of chatting, talking and learning. There's not much else to do...

When all you have are words.

-n

Photo of the Key Bridge and Overlooking Georgetown

cotton Snow Drift

As I come down from the high and Adrenalin rush of my busy season Dec, I take a deep breath and large gulp of the first drink I can get my hands on.

Who am I kidding we've been drinking all through the busy season, one week in, I put a few inspirational words on my door where others could also draw strength.

'I laugh to keep myself from crying.'

As was true for the select few who really busted our asses and made it happen. When I say 'it' I mean everything. Anything you want to pay for I can make happen...perfectly. I should get cards that say that, because the things people think of are amazing, mind blowing, and ridiculously unbelievable. All this lack of energy, kicking into a total tap out, gives me just the boost to make up for nights of working into the wee hours of the morning and getting up to do it all over again...and again...and again.

Which brings me to a thought, what do you do to release? From stress, anger, frustration, happiness, depression, or just plain ol' too much energy. A common denominator between my guy friends is 'Tapping Out' all of them... Something physical that will get them to the point of letting go. Whatever got them to that point, once pushed them too far is now dripped to the floor with the rest of the discarded sweat and left there. For a moment I think guys have it waaay too easy. But then I move on to the women in my life, not before thinking of my personal fav... A long super hot shower, may seem kinda strange but it gives me the time I need to put everything into perspective then let them melt away with the muscle pain of the day. Another great take a run, her reasoning was to 'stomp' out everything in her mind. So it seems women like to think it out, while guys like to bang it out ::yes, that kind of bang counts:: One that seems to top many list Mani and Pedis or anything that has to do with pampering ones self while others may not be willing too.

This all takes me to where it all ends, you lay yourself down alone or with someone and close your eyes. My particular haven is 950 count white cotton, with down comforter, and pillow after pillow...all ending in what looks like peaks and valleys of snow covered land. Peaceful and perfect for a Sunday sleep in. So while a long run, speed bag, spa time are all great... Make that place you go every night the best, after all half your life is spent there, or here for me in cotton snow drifts.

I did get inspired amongst this crazy month... It's still a works in progress, but I promise to get it up asap!

-n

Oxytocin Addiction

'Falling in love is a process of developing attachment, which happens when oxytocin floods the brain.'

C has a necklace that has 'love' in script in silver. When ever anyone notices, people always remark something along the lines of, 'Are you looking for love?' or 'In love with yourself?' ::all very clever:: Her answer is always the same and at any given tender moment you can always count on her to quote,
'I love...love.'
The first time I heard her say this I had to stop and think about what it meant? You love people in love? Being in love? Loving someone? 'All of it' she tells me. With a roll of the eye, and a half smile I waive her off as delirious. To love, love? Silly. But the more I think about it, I can see why she would be inclined to feel this way. When you have balls enough to admit that you're in love...well that's a great feeling. To love the attention, passion, lust, friendship, and companionship that comes with love. There are other who like the chase, the game, the dance of liking someone and turning it into something so much more.
New Love. That is what I love, new love...falling in love. Scratch that I would say I'm addicted to it. Meeting someone new learning new things, getting those feelings that you might be familiar with or might not. The excitement of finding out someone is thinking about you as much as you think about them. Finding someone wants you sooo bad, the kind of want you only have when it's new because you've never had it before. Making your way through all the emotions that come with two people, two separate people trying to see if they are a match. Maybe not even a life match but a match for the moment. Isn't the saying life is made of many moments?
When asking friends if they have ever been in love I get a surprisingly high response of, 'I said I loved the person, but looking back now it probably was not love.' Discount the love you once had? Why? I would happily admit to anyone that I've been in love multiple times, and if you don't think it was love than how will you know if it happens again. I believe that you can love differently, and that as you grow older you emotions mature, but a once love should always stay a part of your love history.
A feeling of sadness comes at the thought, some people feel they compromise themselves when they admit love. They have come to the point that saying 'I love you' makes them feel like it takes away from the person you've worked so hard to create along the way. But even if a love ends terribly it helped shape the person you came out to be, and the way you love the next person.
Another thing most I talked to had in common was getting to the point of 'there is no one for me'. Which could be compared to eating your last Sour Patch Kid with out knowing, you reach for another and all you get it sour powder. Luckily for us, when you reach a few more time in the powder you find one hiding. Which brings me to all those who say there is only one love per person per lifetime, how can this be? Last time I checked 'Free Samples' were free and conveniently so is love ::for most...well that's not really love is it:: So please resist from discounting my multi-love life and I won't comment on the marriage you've somehow trapped yourself in.
Back to everyone being an Addict, meant in the most none drug-related way. I've found that we're all Addicts to different degrees, the constant of marriage, the attention of infatuation, the butterflies of unknown. I unwrap a gift the giver explains 'It just looked like you.' A thick Black bangle with the word 'love' in White script all around it.
With gratitude and amusement I comment back, I agree, especially since I love, falling in love.

-n

Photo of the Key Bridge, Washington DC