L.i.f.e.

I can't believe it has been almost a year since I've posted.  The thought gives me a very bittersweet feeling, my life has been a roller coaster for the last ten months to say the least.  Just as a roller coaster ride there have been high and low points, each bringing me to a new place in life.

I sat on a fallen tree trunk as the pup ran for a distant tree line, continuing her squirrel hunt from our last visit to the park.  Being early spring the sun is still getting use to staying up late, giving me just the right amount of warmth I needed.  As I watched the pup run back and forth my mind drifted to another time...to this time last year.  Where was I?  Thinking harder now to fill what seemed to be a life time of memories ago, I couldn't believe how many differences there were.  Virtually nothing was the same besides where I lived but even that didn't carry the same meaning to me now.  Today, if you were to ask about my apartment, I would say that I love it and am never ever giving it up!  A year ago I wasn't completely happy with anything about the apartment the location and anything around it that I wasn't use to.  A new job that takes up most of my life, that I enjoy excelling at and hate laboring through all at the same time.  Talk about a double edge blade, there are many time a week I look around me and ask myself, what the eff I'm doing!  Because I moved, many friends that I was used to seeing based on distance became once a month phone calls if we were lucky.  Abundance of new friends were made, many a product of my new job and the amount of time I spend doing it.

 New life.  I've come leaps and bounds in differences in the last year and the result feels like a completely new life.  I'm excited that it's still a life I can be proud of but I haven't taken my eye off ambitions and goals I set for my self a year ago and may not have gotten to yet.  That makes me smile, I'm happy to know that with all that's taken over my daily living I still have a vision of where I will be one day.  What I'm going to do for myself...that's exciting.

Looking back at my writing I see so much emotion, there's been no lack of it in the past months just lack of energy to express it well.  Taking the time to get a handle on my new surroundings has given me that extra time to make those phone calls to say hi, take a moment to write and enjoy friends I've missed dearly.  So while every post isn't going to be a masterpiece it will be published and not sitting in draft form.  It is strange that I've forgotten how amazing it feels to write, it's a release to get it out of the constant cycle in my mind.  Perhaps I'll sleep more soundly tonight, I hope that the sweetest of dreams are waiting for each of you in your slumbers tonight.

-n

Spanking Should Be Spontaneous

We're not talking about at tap on the ass as we pass through the door in front of you. No, we're talking about a spanking. When asked if I like spanking, I have to pause before answering. Do I like spanking? Sure, when it's appropriate...Wait, not too hard... but not too light... Wait, do I even like spankings?! But there was that one guy... but then that one time... The list could go on and on.

When really it all comes down to a moment, the moment. Any guy who tries to spank me better be damn confident in his actions, because a half-hearted spank could completely kill the mood. Like 'put my pants back on and walk out the door' mood killer.

So over a sushi lunch I bring up spankings and the opinions fly, along with a fair share of judgement. After all spankings aren't for everyone ::maybe biting is more along your lines:: While the boldest of the group is revealed by her liking for a good ol' fashion mark on the hiney. I look at her and explain there is nothing old fashion about that! Confirmed...Some like it hard. Now I hear from the other side of the table, 'I just like squeezing!'. We all send a puzzled look, which told her we were not all on the same page as she broke into explanation. 'Ya' know, when the guy is holding on to you...grabbing really anywhere and everywhere.' A collective nod reaches the table, but that is a subject for another day. The conversation moves into a memory of the first time, 'He just smacked me! I wasn't expecting it, but it was sooo good! Now it's something I look forward.' As expected woman are all over the chart with spanking etiquette, so I move to the other half in hope of more detail opinions.

Unlike the women, the guys got quite excited at the question and stories started to pour in. 'Woman hate being spanked.'
'Not mine, they love it.'
'One spanked me back, that was weird.'
'I always choke, with my hand half way there.'
'How hard is too hard?'
But in the midst of it, one turns to me and ask if I like spanking. My answer is as long as it's done right. Don't just do it...DO IT. With a little shock and amazement across their faces, the group breaks into all kinds of tangents. The most common, all the guys would like to try it. Something I've learned is guys are collectors, they like to have one of everything, a threesome, a super kinky girl, the girl next door, an asian, a blowjob goddess. The original questionee, nods his head and almost yells.

'Do it with some damn conviction.'

Somehow the conversation spirals into, guys wishing girls gave head with conviction ::again a story for another day:: So on that note I exit the conversation with some good info. It seems that this question could not have come at a better time, that or there is a spanking spree spreading through the people I know, because I can say that I've been asked more than three times what I think about spanking. Funny you should ask...check out my blog. You can my thoughts and a few more, but to answer your question.

I think it should be spontaneous.

-n

Photo of AA in the city, can you see her?

cotton Snow Drift

As I come down from the high and Adrenalin rush of my busy season Dec, I take a deep breath and large gulp of the first drink I can get my hands on.

Who am I kidding we've been drinking all through the busy season, one week in, I put a few inspirational words on my door where others could also draw strength.

'I laugh to keep myself from crying.'

As was true for the select few who really busted our asses and made it happen. When I say 'it' I mean everything. Anything you want to pay for I can make happen...perfectly. I should get cards that say that, because the things people think of are amazing, mind blowing, and ridiculously unbelievable. All this lack of energy, kicking into a total tap out, gives me just the boost to make up for nights of working into the wee hours of the morning and getting up to do it all over again...and again...and again.

Which brings me to a thought, what do you do to release? From stress, anger, frustration, happiness, depression, or just plain ol' too much energy. A common denominator between my guy friends is 'Tapping Out' all of them... Something physical that will get them to the point of letting go. Whatever got them to that point, once pushed them too far is now dripped to the floor with the rest of the discarded sweat and left there. For a moment I think guys have it waaay too easy. But then I move on to the women in my life, not before thinking of my personal fav... A long super hot shower, may seem kinda strange but it gives me the time I need to put everything into perspective then let them melt away with the muscle pain of the day. Another great take a run, her reasoning was to 'stomp' out everything in her mind. So it seems women like to think it out, while guys like to bang it out ::yes, that kind of bang counts:: One that seems to top many list Mani and Pedis or anything that has to do with pampering ones self while others may not be willing too.

This all takes me to where it all ends, you lay yourself down alone or with someone and close your eyes. My particular haven is 950 count white cotton, with down comforter, and pillow after pillow...all ending in what looks like peaks and valleys of snow covered land. Peaceful and perfect for a Sunday sleep in. So while a long run, speed bag, spa time are all great... Make that place you go every night the best, after all half your life is spent there, or here for me in cotton snow drifts.

I did get inspired amongst this crazy month... It's still a works in progress, but I promise to get it up asap!

-n