Parking Challenged No More

Adams Morgan?! Why? In my mind there are very few reasons to go there, a few good places to eat; Diamonds in the rough if you will, but after that nada. Besides why would I go any where I can't wear nice shoes...all of my shoes are nice. But after some persuasive text I find out the destination is a private residence, I love getting a peek of those old houses so my interest ::for the moment:: is peaked. This adventure seems fit for AA so I make the call, give a time line and the night is pushed into full swing.

Wanna be comfy in case we have to walk, warm cause it's cold like no other outside, and as always perfectly hot so the outfit choice goes to cotton dress and tall black boot complete with four inch stiletto heel ::wouldn't have it any other way:: Even with getting ready in record time, I'm already an hour behind schedule, what will be really hard to pull off is getting AA out of the house in her own record time. Run in, have a quick cocktail, pick out a cute outfit, and we're on our way.

As I make my way up eighteenth I remember why I never go higher than Florida Ave, I hate this area. Packed with young frats looking to bang anything with a hole wondering bar to bar, a main strip that takes an hour to get through and absolutely no parking. We near our destination a couple of blocks up from The Strip and I realize all the people parking and walking around us are walking all the way down to the bars. Which solidifies my thought that we are never finding a spot. After driving around a couple of times we luck out and only three blocks from the destination, I announce that we are not moving this car again for the night.

I have a double thought about my gorgeous boots as I trot up a steep hill with AA in tow already listing her complaints. We make it and are greeted by our host a Traveling Tri-Athelete, pleasantries are exchanged and as I catch a questioning side glance from him I wonder what the question brewing behind his eyes is. The thought is short and quickly replaced when a maybe not buzzed but definitely feeling good C.St walks into the room to greet us, I introduce AA and can tell that his earlier inquiry about the cuteness of my friend has been answered.

The home has been renovated to a degree clearly with a masculine eye, glory photos and pieces collected from all over the word fill every corner of the house. Each with a story TT is ready to tell at any prompt given, most of them amusing some even interesting. We share drinks, a few stories and more laughs. As everyone runs low we move to the kitchen, AA is takes a tour of the photos and somehow her detailed eye catches a small box on the counter. 'Super Macho' She repeats herself and shoots an inquiring eye to TT, before flat our asking what it is. With a laugh he explains his impulse buy and the fact that he really doesn't know what it is or what's in it or what part of it makes you Super Macho. AA opens the bottle and I see things take a terrible shift, one after the other the three of them all pop one into their mouths, swallow hard and wait to feel...what else but

Super Macho

Another drink and I have requested a tour, specifically to see the steam room addition that has been added. Tempted to take a go myself as the guys had done earlier in the night, I think better as I catch a image of my hair in the mirror ::maybe next time:: We all find ourselves in the kitchen again chatting up a storm, not sure if it was the drinks or perhaps the combination of lots of time and lots to talk about. AA and I can talk anyones head off between the two of us, it was a good pairing with our congenial companions for the night. Already knowing a bit about C.St I leave it to AA to find out anything I might have missed, I take on TT and I find like myself he can talk about anything...which made for conversations that were all over the place. From the Granite on the counters to his accused obsession with anything Asian. I double check my watch when I notice the clock reads 12:30a, earlier in the night each party expressed the need to stop by different birthday events separately at some point in the night. Well that 'some point' was now, we finish our drinks and bundle up accordingly with the freezing Jan night. Say our goodbyes on the sidewalk as a Panda watched over us and agree to meet back in two hours, logically we should be able to do that ::logically:: AA and I make it back to the car and map out our next couple of spots...I admire my nice parking spot and suggest the idea of a cab, she frowns announces her lack of cash I shrug and start to get in the car. Just then a Black Town car pulls up behind us, the driver gets out and opens the trunk to receive his cab sign. I ask the obvious, Are you a cab? then the next valuable piece needed, Do you take credit? With yes and yes answers AA and I hop into our the car, that is after bargaining the price of our destination a little. We fill the cab with small talk...well as 'small' as talk can get with two girls that have been drinking for a while can get. Almost half-way there and we change the first destination for one closer, Current is on the way and friends are set up on a table...why not. As I get ready to pay, sadness comes to me when I think that we are getting out of a nice cushy ride until the a thought pops into my head and out of my mouth. What's your number? We can call you when we're ready to go to the next place. He looks to me and I feel it's not going to happen, until he smiles and produces a card with his info on it. 'Call me when you are ready.' I get out of the car and thank Steve with a waive goodbye.

It's cold so I'm happy to see that we won't be waiting in any lines, a kiss on the cheek and we're inside at the bar for a quick shot. Soon after we find our friends a quick sit and see what else is on the agenda for them tonight. Nothing very exciting seems everyone is having a quite weekend after the debacle of a week last week was. We dance, meet a few new people, and have a drink. Saying our goodbyes we inform that we have to get to a birthday in China town. I call Steve and he's there in less than the suggested fifteen minutes. He pulls right up to the curb and we plan the next spot...destination Muse. A very Asian inspired Lounge and Club in the ever growing Penn Quarter. As we settle into the warmth of the car I notice Steve our Mediterranean driver is listening to Country music, I ask if this is always what he listed to. His simple response is 'Would you rather the rap ?' Perhaps poking a little fun at my upfront question, I smile and answer what ever you like, I like Steve...this is great.

Muse Lounge has taken over the old Coyote Ugly building with renovations turning the whole corner into a new place. With three floors, there is a place for everyone. The first has a large bar and dance floor, the Second and Third levels are more geared toward table seating and smaller dance areas. Any given day different djs with different genres will be on each level. After running into friends on the first floor and grabbing a quick drink with them, we find our party on the Third floor. It's late in the night and this party has been going for a while so the general look of the group is super buzzed fun. The birthday girl however is complete wasted, hate to be any where near her projectile vomit later on tonight, kind of fun. Some times nights start to feel like doing the dishes (wash, rinse, dry...repeat) We dance, meet a few new people and have a drink. C.St is looking for me but doesn't want to meet us at our current location, instead wants to come to him. In the confusion of text the plans get changed and I wonder how clear headed the once 'feeling quite good' C.St really is, have he and TT gotten to past the buzzed point not unlike AA? I call Steve and suppose the rest we'll just have to find out.
We get to K Street and find the C.St and TT have separated at some unknown point in the night, I can hardly get an answer out of C.St between his pursuit of a girl that has caught his fancy and AA running to the restroom, I decide I am done. Even as the driver has just dropped us off, I am calling him to come back. With the last patient bone in my body I offer C.St to catch a ride with us, he doesn't seem too worried and I don't have the energy to do any convincing, beside I have AA to worry about and that is quite enough for me. I gather up mine, and we leave without goodbyes. Outside a fav staff person points out our car in the slue of people trying to get cabs, a kiss on the cheek and we're swept away. I lean back take a look at AA who is fading in and out of sleep and take a big breath, then my phone rings. We're already over half way there and it's just too far to turn around...as my phone continues to ring I make the mistake of answering. It's always impossible to talk with a wasted person, and that's all I have to say about that. The night ends with AA snuggled under the covers and I giggle to myself as AA ask me to cuddle with her and keep her warm. ::Why not...this must just have been one of those nights::

In the early afternoon, I cancel Brunch plans, then lunch plans and finally get out of bed long enough to send a text to everyone from the night.
How ya doing soldiers?
The response is the same across the board...hurting. Seems terrible but I get a laugh out of it and think next time we'll all know better ::not::

-n

Photo of DC Pandas before being actioned off to private parties.

If You Were Roofied, I'd Come Get You

You can touch it! It looks hard but it's not, everyone always thinks it's hard!
All signs point south at this point, there is no way I'm getting out of this night without first enjoying the downhill slide it was taking.

I'll take you to the beginning of this story. AA has miss scheduled and no longer has a event to attend this night, I call just in time to find all this out. I was in the mood for a drink or two, who better to join me than someone with no plans. She was not very easy to get out of the house, it took lots of convincing and in the end a guilt trip always seems to work. That and a small deal of me picking her up and driving her for the rest of the night, since I was going there anyways. I dress casual thinking a couple of drinks and home again, I have a couple of places I want to stop by but nothing too crazy.

She hops in the car and describes a possible plan B option; Meet her friend and his guests have a drink then back to my plan. It was in the direction we were going and they were waiting for us, so I couldn't really say no. We arrive after a few intros, we are informed that there is a larger group to meet in the City. I am hesitate but leave the decision up to AA, after all I did beg her to come out. A quick shot and we're on our way to Mate` in Georgetown, front row parking a good sign. Out of the car and right in, Mate is a Sushi restaurant and lounge close to the park and water of Georgetown. It boast unique rolls, signature drinks and great happy hour specials. In the evening it turns into a lounge complete with DJ, there are lots of tables so its a good place to get together and talk with friends, also the lack of cover makes it all the better. AA friend scans the crown in search of his friends, nowhere to be found. We order our drinks and from a quick phone call find out the group has already moved on to another venue. Again the decision is left up to AA, my only stipulation that I am not paying a cover at the next location.

New destination, Josephines (cover $20 for guys and girls a like) unless you buy a table. We park in the worlds smallest spot, then walk down the longest alley of my life. Once at the door our new friend is confronted with $80 worth of covers, he was warned that all there is to it. Josephines is a new this past summer to the Vermont Ave & K Street area, it boast the most exclusive club but only because you'll not find many people shelling out $20 to walk through a door with so many choices right around the corner. With bright Red Damask print on the pillars, over abundance of table and two bars there is a lot of space. The group we're meeting is at a table in the sunken in section complete with Gogo dancer on your way down the stairs ::great ass, I'm not afraid to comment::
As we make our way to the table, AA and I are stopped twice at other tables. Seems tonight was a popular night to be out, and since it is a rare occasion to see AA out and about everyone needs some face time. Drink and quick dance at this table, drink and kisses on the cheek at that table, finally back to the new table for what else a drink with some meet and greet. As I look around I relies that the 'Clubbers Elite' are out, Clubber is another work for Lifer, people who loved clubbing when they were younger and now have the money to really club how they want since they're older. People 'staples' of clubs you see them everywhere...I suppose on night like this its good to have a few friends here and there.
The night goes by rather quickly, couple rounds of drinks and lots of dancing to what seemed like the highlights of Old School House, perfectly fitting the crowd. As I take a look around, the most perfect gay man Voguing on the dance floor caught my eye. Later we would meet by chance in the restroom, he would ask about my ethnicity and I would return the inquiry, then we would both comment on how gorgeous each other were and I would compliment on his perfect hair. Then the line of the night is born...

"You can touch it! Everyone thinks it's hard but it's not!"

With that we have a conversation about his elite facebook club and how I should so join. My night is soo done I can home happy as a clam after this ::My obsession with a GBF is finally fulfilled:: But of course the night doesn't end there it goes on and on and on. I leave the restroom with my new GBF and we dance until I'm prompted for another group shot, where I notice AA is looking a little...well intoxicated. I ask her if she is ok and with a nod she turned and made way for the closest porcelain pony. I have a thought to get our coats before following her, since clearly we'll be leaving now. Once in the bathroom I have to wrestle her off the floor and tell her to pull herself together. Your walking out of here! I am not carrying your ass! Heartless, maybe a little but she would have done the same for me. Finally, I get her out of the bathroom, but only to find that she's gotten as far as a couch and her friend is trying to coax her out of her child like pout. 'She can't walk.' She's fine, she's walking because no one is going to carry her. 'What's wrong with you? She can't walk' Are you going to carry her? I didn't think so. With a huff he stormed off ::nice friend:: So I look AA in the eyes and tell her to put her coat on because we're leaving. She hops up, puts her coat on and is up the stairs in no time ::that's my girl:: We make it to the car with only stopping once for her to chuck, once in the car we're on our way. She makes me pull over once, with no results so I tell her she holds everything until we're back at my house.

Two signals from my house we're on the side of the road again, but only because AA has opened the door while the car was moving. I look in the rearview mirror and blue light confetti explodes everywhere ::just my luck::

I role down the window and turn to threaten AA to act somewhat sober, by telling her that we're going to jail. She bites back something along the lines of I'm not going to jail, I return with if I'm going to jail so are you whore. By the time I turn back around a female patrol officer has both elbows perched on my window, 'How's it going?'. Good, good. 'Friend having a little trouble?' Um, yeah had to go pick her up, my house is two lights away... 'Have a bag in the car?' Uh, yes. 'Why don't you give that to her.' Ok. 'Good luck getting her home.'
With that she walks away. Yes, you just read that right, she walked away without another word. My first drunken thought, is this a trick? Are there more of her friends down the road waiting to pull me over? Whats happening. She drives past us and waves to me. I think to myself what is the safest way out of this, and then a more prominent thought pops into my head DRIVE WOMAN DRIVE! Parked at last, AA falls out of the passenger seat and is stumbling up the stairs as I pass her for my urgent need to pee. Get her in, undressed, and in a bed with trashcan close by. I'm ready for a bedtime snack of fettuccine Alfredo with chicken and a nice long slumber. Hope this one doesn't hurt too much in the morning.
In the morning over hang-over coffee and croissants, AA asks me how I got her out and then declares that she not doing that again for along time. When she looks to me with an expectation of an answer I simply state, I'm one of your best friends...If you were Roofied, I'd come get you. Just like when you're smashed, I'll get you home. She sticks her tongue out at me and I laugh while I tell her that she has to come with me to my hair appointment before she can go home.

These are the stories we won't tell our children, but definitly make our friendship stronger.

-n

Empanada Law

The stars of tonights show are my shiny new pumps, Black sequence round toe, metallic gold trim and bright red suede stiletto heal. Nothing and no one can compete with these show stoppas! So in pairing an outfit I choose a simple, short, black bubble hem dress. C and I start with a glass of wine, then hop into the car as AA pulls up. The three of us out to do....well damage as we put it.

Tonight is the soft opening for the new Lux Lounge which happens to be the old Avenue, a little on the shotty side of the Verizon center but we can't say no to big spot lights shining into the cold Nov night sky calling our names. As we approach attention is immediately cast in our direction, our black coats and fabulous footwear set the perfect tone. There is a line out front, we walk up to the side of the red carpet where velvet ropes begin. I stop and the ropes are opened without a word ::think I like this place:: Our IDs are checked as expected, but the unexpected greeting of metal detectors and purse search were a surprise. Once inside we're greeted with a nice renovation to hard wood floors, three bars and raised table seating, which seems to be the new thing to do, so once you buy a table you can look down on everyone ::seems fitting:: I take a quick inventory of the crowd, not great and clearly they are holding people outside to make a line because there were not enough people inside. Mistake often made by promoters....keep a line so people see that there's something going on, but while we waited for our drinks I watched multiple people leave seemingly from the lack of entertainment. Pack the place so everyone can get the party started, having fun equals buying more drinks, am I the only one who gets it?

We order basic mixed drinks, but as the bartender picks up Gin instead of Vodka I take note that she too is new. We round a slight corner to take further inventory of the crowd and the three of us are immediately noticed, once we remove our coats the looks really get thrown across the room. I love going out with a few good girlfriends, no competition, no envy....each of us have our own looks and likes, we're all out to enjoy the night. So the crowd is very reminiscent of the old Avenue crowd, please excuse the coming term 'ghetto urban'. But who knows this is just my observation, maybe the White one piece spandex pants suit came back for girls.

As I look around I realize our fun here is limited.....but C seems to be having fun flirting with the only group worth flirting with thus far, so we'll wait it out and see where it goes. Thirty minutes go by the music is easy to dance mix of the top 40 from the last three eras. The crowd has actually started to thin out, this soft opening is indeed that soft. There was nothing going on here tonight, frankly I don't think there will be for many nights to come.

With a collective sigh we move on, notice comes as we put out coats on and move across the dance floor. A sudden hand around my arm, a glance over my shoulder tells me it's the guys who's been eyeing my from across the room, apparently he's grown some balls :: a little late:: I keep walking not loosing a step with the others. Guys- please restore my faith and tell me you think that was as lame as I did, really?! You're gonna grab my arm as I'm clearly walking away, get out of my personal bubble and don't touch me.

The next scene is about to be a debacle like no other.

We're in the car and my next request destination is turned down so Muse will have to wait for another night. AA gets a call we need to make a quick appearance at Tattoo for the birthday girl of the night. Half way there C has to tinkle "really, really bad" so as we circle for parking really bad turns to can't wait and at a stop light she decides she'll go in ahead and we'll park the car. Down to two we continue on looking for parking, while waiting for what looks like a promising spot AA announces that she too has to tinkle, greeeat. Just then I get a call C can't get in their at capacity, the place next door has too long of a line and she can't walk any further. Dramatic? I know, I would call it one of her trade marks. We leave our spot to circle back and pick her up, she's found wondering through a cross-walk with the most bewilder look I've seen all night. "Get in the car! Let's find some parking then we'll worry about bathrooms. Wait, stop! C get out and use that porta potty on the median." With a cross look of disgust and shock she gages my seriousness, 'fine.' as she hops out into traffic ::you gotta go, you gotta go:: By this point I'm done with the K street area and I wonder why C hasn't called to give us her location, so I call her and then I hear her phone ring. So now we've got to circle around again to find her, lets hope she stayed close to the blue box. We turn the corner and there she is lookin' like a K street (high class) hooker. We're on our way and I make the executive decision that we're done with this area and we moving on to the next place that holds a promise of free drinks.

As we drive how could I forget AA is still holding, so we park at the first place close to the new destination Midtown, as we walk down the street the bouncer at Steve's Bar whom always seems to remember us, ask if we'd like to come in for a quick shot. Why not, my buzz is wearing thin, AA has to tinkle and C is cold.

Steve's Bar is in a suite of an office building, walk through standard lobby, hop in the elevator, pop out into the strangest crowd I've ever seen there. There are two parts to the club the front room has booths going around the perimeter, convenient for abuck sixty-leopard print tube top dress with bright red belt going into all sorts of bad places, to give lap dances. A large bar and the DJ booth. The back room has a smaller cash-only bar, couches, and padded seating cubes that make large bed like seating arrangements. We take our shot, dance to the song of the night and move on.

Back out into the cold are couple of shots have made us feel a little warmer. We get to Midtown and the bouncer from Current gives a disapproving look, I reassure him that we're just checking it out. Shocked again they are also patting down the guys and checking girls purses, brassly I ask if there was a gun incident or something we have to worry about, because I tend not to carry protection in my eight inch clutch. The girl just rolls her eyes and bands us, we get upstairs and are greeted by a few friends. Midtown was previously known as Play a couple of months ago, with a hard core renovation the space seems much larger. The tables have been moved away from the windows and pushed back towards the bar and again elevated. The once rustic wood paneled walls of Play are replaced with White acrylic everything, highlighted with blues. Where the DJ once spun, they've installed the component to complete any ones night Stripper Poles, especially for the guests.

Again a very urban crowd, which I don't mind as long as I'm not expected to dry hump some guy on the dance floor. Note to all that's not dancing. We finish are first round quick and C is on the floor apparently feelin' the groove. What's this? The first approach, a wall full of guys have been watching her I was wondering who would be first. Unfortunately he wasn't hot, not even cute, and at the end of the day he didn't meet the height requirement for C. As he mounts her from behind I give her the 'not cute' sign and she tries to move away. But this guy had a magnet in his crotch and moved right along with her, she gives me the 'ewww' look.....so I step in. What are you doing? Um, no this, all of this (with a motion towards her large boobs) is all mine. He gives me a more than confused look. 'What?' Yes, she mine so why don't you back the F off.

New intrigue is introduced, are these girls a bunch of lesbians? Yes! This is awesome. That thought is quickly put out when AA finds a nice boy to share a drink with and C finds a cute boy to dance with. That is after he asked if the body guard was okay with it. Many of you may be calling me a 'cockblock' right now, but I really think of it more as 'weeding'. Sometimes you just have get rid of some of he weeds to see the prettier plants, and that's all we play with.

Last call comes and the girls go to the bathroom because I'm not dealing with that mess again. I'm left with the coats, and of course everyone sees this as an opportunity. Why? If I haven't spoke to you all night or return you're creepy smiles, there's a large chance a conversation is not going to go any better. But a try comes none the less, 'Hey' Hi. 'Having a good night tonight' Uh huh. 'I've got a couple more sips left in this bottle' He pulls a champagne bottle from his jacket. 'You look like a Champagne kinda girl' Oh do I? Do I also look like a girl that would drink random drops of alcohol that have come from some sweaty guys arm pit? Because if that's the case then I am putting out the wrong vibe. Is it my dress? Maybe my shoes? No wait, it's none of those things.

So I must not be that kind of girl. Now if you'll excuse me I'm going to stand over here now.

The girls are in disbelief of the story I tell them and we laugh our way outside. Once we step onto the side walk we're confronted with a mob of people. C asks what was going on, and AA explains the Emapanda Line, I chime in with the note that they are really not worth the wait. But some how I find myself in a short dress waiting in the cold, for an Empanada I don't want. We're talking and joking when C notices a man in a Sombrero trying to cut the line, outraged she alarms the whole line and trys to get a passing officer to take action. He walks away a little faster than his original pace. As I try to calm C and her increasingly loud cursing, the groups in front an behind start to find her amusing. This fuels the fire and there is no stopping or filtering anything that comes out of her mouth. When the guy behind me gets a little too close and steps on my shoes, she is to the rescue 'Step back asshole! Look at these shoes you can't step on these shoes. If they were my size I would have stolen them off her feet by now!' He laughs and backs up, out of no where is friend pipes up, with something about beautiful girls shouldn't be mean. When creepy hair-sniffer behind me starts to talk, C picks up on his accent 'Oooh, where are you from, you can stand by me, what's your name?' Just like that my body guard is down for the count, it was nice while it lasted. As observe the line I realize the Empanada stand has enlisted the help of a bouncer, so I inquire about the one-in one-out rule he has going when it's thirteen degrees out and there is room for three girls inside. The once thought bouncer, explains that he is actually the owner, so I explain to him that he should open a couple more stand and get a bouncer. AA adds that we're getting border line assaulted, every time the door opens the line pushes and everyone leans towards the front, at which my hair is routinely sniffed. After fighting off a few more people trying to cut we get into the 'inside' line and so do our new Peruvian friends. C and AA are amused with them while we wait in the line, I keep a close eye on the guy who has moved from trying to smell my hair to touching. C and I argue that she will not get four empanadas for her self and she can come back next time to try the other flavors. Then out of no where a big push, I turn and someone has rushed the door and gotten in past the owner. Cries of out range come from the line and when something smart is on the tip of my tongue I realize...I know this person. What are you doing here? He embarrasses me in happiness and shock, being a fashionista bi-sexual, he takes immediate notice of my shoes and is on his knees mock licking them. The owner asks him to get off the floor and he quickly thinks of a story that gets right to the owner. 'I'm only here to pay for them, they don't have any money, look at them.' With a glance to me I confirm the story. Do I feel bad that what we were against the whole time we waited in the line, just happened because of me? Nope. Our empanadas are free. After paying our fifty dollar tab, I walk behind he girls as mmmms and yummms fill the air over a spicy sauce AA has introduced to C. ::goodluck with that in the morning::

Each of us safely back in our cars with empanada in hand, we're on our ways home. I laugh thinking back to the end of the night and how much work it was to get here. It might have been a little hectic at time but worth the happiness that the empanadas brought them at the end of the night, I would do it all over again.

A loyal friend is worth loving, even when that love makes you lay down the law in the emapanada line.

As I near home, I get calls from C and AA both loving that damn hot sauce.

-n

Photo Taken at the WWII Memorial