Sunday, December 28, 2008

If You Were Roofied, I'd Come Get You



You can touch it! It looks hard but it's not, everyone always thinks it's hard!
All signs point south at this point, there is no way I'm getting out of this night without first enjoying the downhill slide it was taking.

I'll take you to the beginning of this story. AA has miss scheduled and no longer has a event to attend this night, I call just in time to find all this out. I was in the mood for a drink or two, who better to join me than someone with no plans. She was not very easy to get out of the house, it took lots of convincing and in the end a guilt trip always seems to work. That and a small deal of me picking her up and driving her for the rest of the night, since I was going there anyways. I dress casual thinking a couple of drinks and home again, I have a couple of places I want to stop by but nothing too crazy.

She hops in the car and describes a possible plan B option; Meet her friend and his guests have a drink then back to my plan. It was in the direction we were going and they were waiting for us, so I couldn't really say no. We arrive after a few intros, we are informed that there is a larger group to meet in the City. I am hesitate but leave the decision up to AA, after all I did beg her to come out. A quick shot and we're on our way to Mate` in Georgetown, front row parking a good sign. Out of the car and right in, Mate is a Sushi restaurant and lounge close to the park and water of Georgetown. It boast unique rolls, signature drinks and great happy hour specials. In the evening it turns into a lounge complete with DJ, there are lots of tables so its a good place to get together and talk with friends, also the lack of cover makes it all the better. AA friend scans the crown in search of his friends, nowhere to be found. We order our drinks and from a quick phone call find out the group has already moved on to another venue. Again the decision is left up to AA, my only stipulation that I am not paying a cover at the next location.




New destination, Josephines (cover $20 for guys and girls a like) unless you buy a table. We park in the worlds smallest spot, then walk down the longest alley of my life. Once at the door our new friend is confronted with $80 worth of covers, he was warned that all there is to it. Josephines is a new this past summer to the Vermont Ave & K Street area, it boast the most exclusive club but only because you'll not find many people shelling out $20 to walk through a door with so many choices right around the corner. With bright Red Damask print on the pillars, over abundance of table and two bars there is a lot of space. The group we're meeting is at a table in the sunken in section complete with Gogo dancer on your way down the stairs ::great ass, I'm not afraid to comment::
As we make our way to the table, AA and I are stopped twice at other tables. Seems tonight was a popular night to be out, and since it is a rare occasion to see AA out and about everyone needs some face time. Drink and quick dance at this table, drink and kisses on the cheek at that table, finally back to the new table for what else a drink with some meet and greet. As I look around I relies that the 'Clubbers Elite' are out, Clubber is another work for Lifer, people who loved clubbing when they were younger and now have the money to really club how they want since they're older. People 'staples' of clubs you see them everywhere...I suppose on night like this its good to have a few friends here and there.
The night goes by rather quickly, couple rounds of drinks and lots of dancing to what seemed like the highlights of Old School House, perfectly fitting the crowd. As I take a look around, the most perfect gay man Voguing on the dance floor caught my eye. Later we would meet by chance in the restroom, he would ask about my ethnicity and I would return the inquiry, then we would both comment on how gorgeous each other were and I would compliment on his perfect hair. Then the line of the night is born...
"You can touch it! Everyone thinks it's hard but it's not!"

With that we have a conversation about his elite facebook club and how I should so join. My night is soo done I can home happy as a clam after this ::My obsession with a GBF is finally fulfilled:: But of course the night doesn't end there it goes on and on and on. I leave the restroom with my new GBF and we dance until I'm prompted for another group shot, where I notice AA is looking a little...well intoxicated. I ask her if she is ok and with a nod she turned and made way for the closest porcelain pony. I have a thought to get our coats before following her, since clearly we'll be leaving now. Once in the bathroom I have to wrestle her off the floor and tell her to pull herself together. Your walking out of here! I am not carrying your ass! Heartless, maybe a little but she would have done the same for me. Finally, I get her out of the bathroom, but only to find that she's gotten as far as a couch and her friend is trying to coax her out of her child like pout. 'She can't walk.' She's fine, she's walking because no one is going to carry her. 'What's wrong with you? She can't walk' Are you going to carry her? I didn't think so. With a huff he stormed off ::nice friend:: So I look AA in the eyes and tell her to put her coat on because we're leaving. She hops up, puts her coat on and is up the stairs in no time ::that's my girl:: We make it to the car with only stopping once for her to chuck, once in the car we're on our way. She makes me pull over once, with no results so I tell her she holds everything until we're back at my house.


Two signals from my house we're on the side of the road again, but only because AA has opened the door while the car was moving. I look in the rearview mirror and blue light confetti explodes everywhere ::just my luck::

I role down the window and turn to threaten AA to act somewhat sober, by telling her that we're going to jail. She bites back something along the lines of I'm not going to jail, I return with if I'm going to jail so are you whore. By the time I turn back around a female patrol officer has both elbows perched on my window, 'How's it going?'. Good, good. 'Friend having a little trouble?' Um, yeah had to go pick her up, my house is two lights away... 'Have a bag in the car?' Uh, yes. 'Why don't you give that to her.' Ok. 'Good luck getting her home.'
With that she walks away. Yes, you just read that right, she walked away without another word. My first drunken thought, is this a trick? Are there more of her friends down the road waiting to pull me over? Whats happening. She drives past us and waves to me. I think to myself what is the safest way out of this, and then a more prominent thought pops into my head DRIVE WOMAN DRIVE! Parked at last, AA falls out of the passenger seat and is stumbling up the stairs as I pass her for my urgent need to pee. Get her in, undressed, and in a bed with trashcan close by. I'm ready for a bedtime snack of fettuccine Alfredo with chicken and a nice long slumber. Hope this one doesn't hurt too much in the morning.
In the morning over hang-over coffee and croissants, AA asks me how I got her out and then declares that she not doing that again for along time. When she looks to me with an expectation of an answer I simply state, I'm one of your best friends...If you were Roofied, I'd come get you. Just like when you're smashed, I'll get you home. She sticks her tongue out at me and I laugh while I tell her that she has to come with me to my hair appointment before she can go home.

These are the stories we won't tell our children, but definitly make our friendship stronger.
-n

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