A dark place never seen, yet listened to explicitly. With just a twist the soul is plunged into the depths, nothing but the sound rushing over head. Weight from the growth pulling...pushing...crushing. Even as you keep the horizon in view loss of control eats what is left of sanity, taking your thoughts. There is no need to grasp. At anything. This trip, this rush, this torture is for you alone, self induced, concern is pushed away. Pulling from deep down, stifle with out a choice, suffocation threatens until survival kicks in and is held more sacred than the heart.
I lied through my teeth, fighting the feeling the crept up and seemed to cripple me. Once welcome butterflies flew away and I was left with a knotting pain in the pit of my stomach. Tears pushed at the rims of my lashes, all to maintain a feeling of false control, to avoid breaching anything we might not make it back from. The sensation that came from the pit of my stomach was only second to that of my breaking heart, cracking in the way it so often does. Always the same stress fractures waiting for just the right amount of pressure. As you lay your head down with promises of sweet dreams, I plot on how to mend these few pieces with a sweet dream of my own in the back of my mind, that you might mend them for me.
-n
Posts
