Finding Creativity

You move through life, learning about yourself, your likes, dislikes, how you hate, how you love, even how you make love.

Your born and the first part of your life is shaped around the environment provided for you. Some get Super wholesome-filled with love, others Dis'fun'ctionally together with conditional love, maybe even the Non-existent family with voiceless love, the kind better felt but left unsaid.

After a few glasses of wine I find myself in an insightful conversation, the kind that is only brought up by those glasses of wine. How did you grow up? What kind of kid were you? How did that make you who you are?

make

With a childhood the big O would love to make a movie about, I start to think back...

What made me?

My first thought is ::nothing:: I made me, all the experiences I had in life are a part of me but who I am today. Well, I made that. With arguments from the group, your personality is of this, and you traits from that. Then a new sources chimes in, one of my more whispy friends jumps in. I call them whispy, because they live like the wind, breezing along. 'You grow and live to find yourself.'

find

Personally, I'm not looking for me I'm right here ::take me or leave me:: Yes, there was a time and point when I became comfortable with me and what I am but I don't think I needed to be found. No, I don't like this reasoning either. While I get my thoughts together to explain to the others, I'm reminded of a line I heard somewhere along the lines and kept close to my heart.

Life is not about finding yourself but creating who you want to be.

I created me.

I took everything I love about being a woman, being funny, being strong, loving, loyal, caring and put them together. This person has a can't be missed personality, intense, hilarious, crazy, sweet and sexy. I wouldn't have it any other way, through the losses and gains in my life, the comfort always comes from being me.

-n

Photo Taken from Theodore Roosevelt Island