In a time when all the decisions are yours where do you turn?
Should you really be looking to turn in any other direction but yourself? This thought along induces a dismal thought of 'what the hell?' Why do I spend all this time giving everyone else advice, just so when I need some everyone tells me to come to the decision myself. Yes, I know everyone should make their own way in life, based off of their own choices. But maybe I just want someone to tell me what to do and have that not only be the right choice for me but the best choice in the situation. Asking for a little much? I suppose. What's the saying?...No question is a dumb question.
When faced with a choice and we're not talking about what latte to get, we're talking about life altering, shit hits the fan, crap storm, please get me outta here, I want to escape kinda decision. How do you deal?! I've gotten everything from making bullet point list, weighing the pros vs cons, ignoring until there is just not other choice, or not making it. The one that I got the most and was shocked but understanding about... Not making the choice. How many time have you heard the relationship went on two years too many? Never? Well I've heard it plenty and it's a strange thing, that is until you're living it. From what I hear it doesn't make the decision any easier, there is still a storm you have to get through and survive. Which still leaves me wondering how to deal? Personally I think it out very logically, perhaps too logically but that is the only way I know. Once I come to the decision I figure out the upside, no upside? Plan B: Ball up into the tightest ball, bury myself for as long as possible ::leave the chocolate at the end of the bed, thanks:: I never thought that I would be too logical for my own good, but if emotion is what is needed to understand both sides of the arguments, how can you trust your thoughts? Then again I feel that my need to do the best thing for everyone helps me see it for what it really is. Not so much as life altering, but more so just a pain in the ass. Decide to do it you break that security that you've built, living in a world with lack of security...welcome to the storm ::sans an umbrella..ella..ella:: Maybe it will go away? Stay in the place you know, in your comfort zone. But how long will that stay your comfort zone, when all the straws are lined up on the camels back, is comfort really waiting for that last straw? For that fight that hangs over head, anything could tip the perfectly balanced scale of love and hate.
On this subject I would take into consideration what I hold more in higher priority. Yes, I'm a creature of habit and enjoy comfort. Yes, I do value my security. More. If need be for the better of yourself, than that is the direction you should go. While we all have people we care about, people you don't want to hurt, people you don't want to leave. The decision must be 'for the better of self' no one and nothing else. Hard to say aloud, even harder to hear when you've shut yourself down. When the decisions are all but lost to you, blackout everything else and think about your number one priority in life. Yourself.
Should you really be looking to turn in any other direction but yourself? This thought along induces a dismal thought of 'what the hell?' Why do I spend all this time giving everyone else advice, just so when I need some everyone tells me to come to the decision myself. Yes, I know everyone should make their own way in life, based off of their own choices. But maybe I just want someone to tell me what to do and have that not only be the right choice for me but the best choice in the situation. Asking for a little much? I suppose. What's the saying?...No question is a dumb question.
When faced with a choice and we're not talking about what latte to get, we're talking about life altering, shit hits the fan, crap storm, please get me outta here, I want to escape kinda decision. How do you deal?! I've gotten everything from making bullet point list, weighing the pros vs cons, ignoring until there is just not other choice, or not making it. The one that I got the most and was shocked but understanding about... Not making the choice. How many time have you heard the relationship went on two years too many? Never? Well I've heard it plenty and it's a strange thing, that is until you're living it. From what I hear it doesn't make the decision any easier, there is still a storm you have to get through and survive. Which still leaves me wondering how to deal? Personally I think it out very logically, perhaps too logically but that is the only way I know. Once I come to the decision I figure out the upside, no upside? Plan B: Ball up into the tightest ball, bury myself for as long as possible ::leave the chocolate at the end of the bed, thanks:: I never thought that I would be too logical for my own good, but if emotion is what is needed to understand both sides of the arguments, how can you trust your thoughts? Then again I feel that my need to do the best thing for everyone helps me see it for what it really is. Not so much as life altering, but more so just a pain in the ass. Decide to do it you break that security that you've built, living in a world with lack of security...welcome to the storm ::sans an umbrella..ella..ella:: Maybe it will go away? Stay in the place you know, in your comfort zone. But how long will that stay your comfort zone, when all the straws are lined up on the camels back, is comfort really waiting for that last straw? For that fight that hangs over head, anything could tip the perfectly balanced scale of love and hate.
On this subject I would take into consideration what I hold more in higher priority. Yes, I'm a creature of habit and enjoy comfort. Yes, I do value my security. More. If need be for the better of yourself, than that is the direction you should go. While we all have people we care about, people you don't want to hurt, people you don't want to leave. The decision must be 'for the better of self' no one and nothing else. Hard to say aloud, even harder to hear when you've shut yourself down. When the decisions are all but lost to you, blackout everything else and think about your number one priority in life. Yourself.
-n
Photo taken at Great Falls National Park
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