Opening a bottle of wine and turning on the tv for some noise, the travel channel is on. How I love the travel channel bringing me to all the places I long to visit. Awaiting a girlfriend to come over I pour a second glass of wine ::this one is better a little more open:: She catches me on the way home from work, which is my calm time after the storm and not the best time to call me. But I catch the bewildered tone in her voice and invite her over for some dinner. After being happily greeted by my two furry babies, she flops down on the couch next to me takes the glass I've extended to her and takes a look at the tv. Out of nowhere she announces
'That desert is wetter than I've been in months.'
Problem revealed and I didn't have to do any digging ::saves a lot of time:: I can't help but break into laughter, she gives me a serious look then giggles at herself. She is a classic case of Dry Spell, but what is the dry spell from? Sex, Relationships or something else. I agree that everyone needs to be intimacy. A time just comes when you want to be touched, you crave to be held, kissed...wanted. But you can have sex and not really get any of those things...which leaves a line. The people who think not having sex is a problem and people who rather wait for something more worth while, thus resulting with not having a problem with it. Back to the point of sex without intimacy and in the same breath intimacy without sex. My close friends can provide an intimacy and comfort that certain loves just can't, but I suppose the key word is comfort because perhaps what my dry spells are from is a little comfort. Back to the ball of pent up emotions on my couch... I do the math of the last time she dated one person seriously and the last time she had sex... and come up with the question, what are you missing? She looks at me eyes blank
'Sex, I'm missing sex.'
Now we know what side of the equation she falls on. What about that guy you talked about non-stop last week? 'Ugh, no he was all about himself and no one else, plus not that hot.' Well maybe you should be a little more picky. Now she gives me an are you out of your mind look, 'If I'm any more picky I won't be getting laid for the rest of my life.' Then it comes to me maybe she's being the wrong kind of picky... Just because a guy is a good sweet talker upon first meet does not mean he'll go the distance. She will frequently choose the sweet talker over an interesting guy any day ::to each her own:: I like puzzles, but most of my girlfriends don't. Anything that can keep my attention for longer than the weekend is fun for me, but if I meet you on Friday and by Saturday you've blown me up so much 'desperation' shows up on my phone instead of your name...we have a problem, take that back you have a problem. Maybe you're interested in the wrong guys. 'Of course I am, but all the so called right guys are soo boring.' I make the note that I haven't see her very often lately, she explains that she's been going on as many dates as possible. She frowns at my suggestion that she should take a break from the serial dating and figure out what she wants. She argues, and I end with a simple direction of Spend more time with friends.
There will come a time for most when you will have that person for a little while or for a long time, when there is a mutual feeling of 'Us against the world' but until then as you walk through a seemingly endless desert with not even a mirage to distract you, there is a comforting thought.
Life with great friendships is your lake complete with shady tree in the desert.
-n
Photo taken at the WWII Memorial
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