Sucker for a Sunset

It makes sense, I think to myself...I've always like sunsets better than sunrises. But I don't give him this explanation, instead I leave him to wonder what the hell I mean. The rumor about me liking to torture...it's a little true ::at least I'm honest:: I can't help myself really...and anyways I'll be the first to tell you, I'm not nice.
"What did you say?"
Well the words just kinda slipped.
"What words?" She says to me with an all too serious look.
Not those words, crazy!
"Oh, then why are you so concerned?"
I'm not. You are.

I didn't miss him, I didn't think much on him while he was gone, but when I saw him the word just kind came out. I could have stopped them but I wanted to see what would happen.

I like you like sunsets.

Even not knowing what it meant, he looked at me and smiled. Held me close and looked deep into my eyes. The only thought I had in the moment, was please don't respond with the dreaded three words. Cause if that happens, you've never seen a girl get dressed and in the car so fast.

"Why? I thought you liked him."
This particular friend is completely not understanding in instances like this, her nightly dream and life goal is to be loved, taken care of, barefoot and pregnant. A thought that brings the word 'vomit' to mind for me. But I love her point of view on my life, how crazy she thinks I am for wanting and needing things completely simple.

I do like him.
"And?"
And nothing else, I like him we have fun, and while it stays just so, I will keep him.
"You are so strange!"
I know.

Could be the colors, I do love color. But then again it could be the way he touches my face, the same way a sunset warms then cools the skin every night. Perhaps is the ever change that surrounds him, no two sunsets are the same.
What I find myself looking forward to the most about sunsets is that there will be another great one tomorrow.
-n

Microwave type Warmth

A warmth...
An emotion...
That starts deep within and warms you heart, moves your soul...
Right down to your little toes...
Wandering through the day cold, one word whispered...
You become a white hot flame in the dark...
Holding on so tight...
An explosion waiting to happen...

-n

Fog

As he hugs me close, kisses me deeply, and tells me he loves me. I warn, I'm not nice.

"Angel you are all sweet to me."

It's fine that you think that, but one day when I'm mean and I've hurt you don't be surprised. When I'm in the midst of an evil streak you have never seen such a calm state, I'm comfortable there. Inducing pain on people that may have done the same to me or may not even see it coming. With out a blink I will slap you in the face with the things no one should, rather no one dare bring up. Because the hurt from them will be to much, long lasting, and unforgivable. He looks down at me as he holds my face in his hands.

"Why are you saying these things Baby?"

Because one day, you'll see that calm come over me, eerie like a fog. The air will change and that will be because you're about to witness something that I don't bother hiding. And while it may not be directed at you, you will never look at me the same. Possibly never even love me the same again.

"Then baby, I'm willing to take that chance."

Your risk does not prove your love to me, as I'm not looking for proof. Before you build an idea of me and put it on that pretty little pedestal, know that I do not want to be up there.
While the sting is for a moment, occasionally the fall back into the fog is a memorable pain.

-n

Big Girl Boots

We're squeezed into an over crowded bar, dead center with people packed in like ground meat in a casing all around us. Our group has taken up a fair share of the bar, so in my efforts to get a drink, I have to alternate with hugs and kiss hellos. Oh and it's hot as hell, if hell was sitting in the kitchen with my mother as she attempted to cook.

Good thing I'm not wearing much! We get to the bar where a branch of our group has secured a window, currently they are ordering shots of Grand Manier ::burns so good:: A couple of guys eye us up and hand us shots.

"Don't waste these."
I'm pretty sure I'll be able to handle it, a smirk reaches the corner of my lips.

We take the shots, that were really like double shots, without even a little wince. The original guy looks to me and says

"Whoa! You took that like a big girl"
Uh huh.
I narrow my eyes at him to gauge his doubt, while he sizes me up. My outfit tonight is pretty casual, layered tank tops, (Black and White) black tights and black knee high boots. His eyes get to my boots and widen...

"No wonder! Look at those boots!"
Yup, my big girl boots.
"Damn! Just tell me what's the cut and color you want?"

C and I catch eyes across the crowded bar, both knowing it's time to move on. This is our second stop of the night, we started at Mate in Georgetown for Organic Cucumber Mojitos in honor of Earth Hour. This small bar appearance was for a birthday, moving across town to see another birthday girl, this particular party is a green party. Finally making our way out of the bar, we run into more friends outside, I give them a outline of the night ahead and we hop into the car.

We arrive at Senso, Senso...not my fav place on 18th street. It always has the strangest smell...like day old-dirty recliner-sex ::come on, you know the smell:: As we walk through the door my eyes go to the back balcony, of which I see the girls dangling from. We make our way through another crowded room and climb the stairs into a very warm loft, filled with girls in green, a couple large fans, a small bar with the worlds slowest bartender...ever. As this is our third stop of the night we jump right in to the dance party. Round of birthday shot, a few photo ops, and a we're putting our jackets on again. This time the expected right up the street party has moved a few blocks away.
Once outside we're trying to map out the best way to pick up a couple more girls and make it to the next stop in a timely manner. All this planning is broken up when I here my name being screamed across six lanes of traffic. Followed by a flurry of text, friends at a club across the street are outside and want in. I make a mad dash, while sending my text , by the time I get across the street, they are being ushered inside and geared up with bracelets. I'm tempted to come in for a quick drink and say hi, but we've got a tight schedule as it is. Just when I'm hugging hellos, the car pulls up friends already inside and we're off the 14th street.
We make it to The Park and the party is in full force by this point the birthday boy is dancing all over the place, pouring Champagne on everyone and buying round after round of shots. I've danced so much tonight, there is no need for exercise for another couple of days! But I find myself and C three drinks in and dancing our asses off! Per our usual I'm fighting guys off of her and telling them that she is my bitch, we laugh as the walk away utterly confused wondering if we really are lesbians ::ftr I like boys::
The DJ plays every song I love, so I've just got no other option than to dance until my legs are jelly. We're laughing at how tired we are by the end of the night and amazed that we are still able to have a conversation after the night we'd just had.
Our night ends like so many good one, C and I are walking down the sidewalk linked arm in arm, laughing uncontrollably. We're also content. That alone makes the night, to see all these people, go so many places and be utterly content at the end of the night.
I love this city.
-n