Pole Temptation

She glances across the room with almost longing eyes, how she wishes she could throw all inhibition out the window and hop up on that platform.

Tonight I am running so early that I call ahead, to make sure there is a seat for me at one of my favorite spots. Circa is as popular for dinner as it is for cocktails around this time of the night, which equals quite the busy bar. I also place a call to Steve, give him the coordinates, schedule a pickup and give a brief plan for the night. As I walk down the street the sky is cloudy and white the way it gets when it's about to snow, but I knew there would be no snow tonight just the bitter bitter cold. I round the corner and through the large window that line half of the restaurant I see that the bar is quite busy, but that's okay better for people watching. I walk through heavy Red velvet curtains a new addition with the winter season, just in time to catch a corner seat at the bar.

Start the night with a glass of Sparkling Shiraz and mac n cheese between two strangers. The one to my left is a middle aged man, who clearly has food envy for my dinner. Finally he breaks down and ask if that is what the place is known for, I give him a puzzled look the mac n cheese? 'Yes.' I don't know if it's what this place is known for, but it's really good. I get mac n cheese every where and love theirs. Satisfied with my answer he decides that I don't need to eat the rest of my dinner in peace rather keep him entertained with answer any and all of his questions ::thank you tourist, you've ended my golden silence::

'I don't live here, I'm just here every weekend.'

Uh huh, the next line is something about having a favorite hotel I'm sure.

'I come to see my daughter.'

Nice, that doesn't make you any less creepy.

'So you seem to know people, do you come here often?'

No...no I don't.

'Well I think I'll come back, maybe even tomorrow.'

That's great you should.

'Are you gonna be here tomorrow?'

No...no I won't,

now finish your beer and get out of my face, you creepy, old, man/father, you're daughter should be ashamed about how creepy you come across.

Enter C to save my life, and really this guys, because that above line was a thought that came very close to becoming reality. As C enters a previously quite girl at the bar by herself has been woken up into a vibrant one who's laughing a lot. It doesn't take much when we're together, actually just a look can have us laughing for ten minutes straight. My drink switches to my new pre-dance the night away choice, Lattetini with a double shot of espresso. Gets me perfectly perky. C takes the bartenders suggestion and gets some crazy Lemonade drink, always experimenting that one. I give her the rundown of the agenda, nothing crazy pretty low key night, meet up with a small group of friends and their friends from out of the country and show 'em a good time, probably only one spot for the night. But we don't leave before we get our fix of well...all kinds of things, for C it's her take that bartender.

After a few 'where are you' phone calls, I explain to C that she gets to meet Steve, she's excited to say the least. As we leave a familiar face inquiries of where we're on our way to, I answer right out front we're waiting for Steve. As panic sends color up his neck I explain that Steve while not only being our new best friend is the ultimate hookup in the city...my driver. He give a honest laugh and says 'That is the last thing your ego needs!' ::ah, so true:: So we're on our way across town C meet Steve, Steve this is my very close and important friend C... She and I talk up a storm the whole way there and Steve puts his two cents in where ever he can fit, until C tries to get sneaky and get Steve's card. Now I'm all about Steve having lots of business and I would love C to use him, just not when I'm in town. And I mean that in the most caring way, but there is no fucking around here ::sweet smile reaches lips::

We hop out right in front, still amazed by the time we save by not looking for parking we scoot right up to the door, give our names, and of course my id gets such a serious look over that you would think I was applying for a job at the White House. That's cool I understand it's your job to check, but please don't ask me to smile in a mild attempt to hit on me, it's cold and these sexy boots are only keeping my legs so warm ::ass:: Once inside we are greeted by a steep set of red carpet lined steps, really stairs should never be in a club too many casualties to be experienced. On the other end of that thought, stairs always make the perfectly dramatic entrance, everyone gets first a glimpse of the shoes, then of course the legs, followed by perfectly sexy look and hair. What more could a girl ask for...maybe a little wind, spotlight, and the some slow motion to really bring the moment home.

Josephine's is all about expensive luxury and as I type those words is there any other kind? Lush fabrics on the couches, detailed textures on the wall and chandeliers adorn the ceiling. The club is broken almost into two separate clubs, the backroom bar has a HipHop DJ separate tables and really it's own vibe. Wanna do some dirty grinding? You'll have no problem finding it there. The main room and larger bar is more House music mixed with a little top forty, a main area of tables when you walk in, then a sunken in level of more tables, ample space to dance, people watch, and platforms complete with gogo dancers ::good ones too:: C and I make a round through the club, pass the bar and run into a few friends. A shot? Sure, why not! Now on to meet our table, we get there a bottle of ciroc has already been poured down about a quarter ::this is the type of night it's going to be:: All the guys know C but have had limited contact so the introductions are re-made and the festivities begin. We chat a little, make our drinks, and find out that the guys are on the prowl tonight. Inviting any girl who makes just the right kind of sexy eye contact to the table, which is quite entertaining to me. Especially when over my shoulder I catch C with her eye on someone already, let the games begin. My drinking is slower than usual, long night last night, but I can amuse myself just fine while the other enter vodkavision. The night goes as follows... M finds a table full of girls and makes nice with of course the bitchiest one, don't bring her over here she might meet my boot before she meets your goodies ::the b is the queen b:: HS is a equally dear friend that well I have to say is racist in the worst way, before him I had no concept of color, after...let's just say there was an after. His line to me is it's okay not only am I of color, but I racist against everyone. He is the poster child for 'single and ready to mingle', humoring all the girls he's in with the first giggle you let slip, a sneaky one that one. I'm glad I get to stay on the good hearted side of him, otherwise we would seriously hate each others guts. Dancing and taking pictures he stays close the table and the vodka, he and C should join DWTS as a pair with the moves I saw that night. C has the need to see what is going on in the shall we say more urban area of the club, we walk into a great song and can't help but bust into the middle of the dance floor, dance are butts off, then keep it moving, we've got things to see ::or something like that::
We make it back to the table and HS has managed to order another bottle and half of it is already gone, I'm confused to what has happened so what better way to figure it out than make myself another drink. I sit onto the couch exhausted from dancing and he looks at me, eyes hazed over and says 'we gotta finish this bottle'. Just as I get ready to explain how that is not going to happen, C pulls me off the couch spins me around and points all in one motion. Before I know it I'm faced with a woman who is too old, to be in a club wearing that outfit and on that pole. What?!
I ask a little more concerned that I'm missing the point 'look at her! I could do so much better, she's a mess!'
Oh yeah? I bet you could. Why don't you then?
You come with me.
Okay...let's go.
I want a front row seat to this show anyways, she grabs my had and leads me down the stairs to the platform right next to the gogo dancer. 'Look at her she is doing such a great job, I can't this.' An about face turn, up the stairs and we're back at our table. When I catch her looking over again, this time I'm standing and dancing with KindSalt&Pepper, she comes over and stands next to me. I look over knowing the look I would meet was one of determination, and of course we're down the stairs and at the base of the platform again.
Alright, hop up.
'I should right.'
Before I knew what was happening she was leading me back up the stairs, this time the bouncer that has been eyeing me up all night makes a comment 'Better stop distracting me by going up and down my stairs.' A polite smile reaches my lips, I don't think it's us using the stairs that's distracting you, because I'm pretty sure while I was over there sitting at my table you were just as distracted with us. ::next, get a better line:: We get back to the table and KindS&P has found a nice girl to dance with, recently re-released onto the market we're happy anytime he gets the chance to have some fun, so I pass by and snap a pic just in case he wants to remember in the morning. Back at the table C and I dance, make HS into a sandwich and laugh for a while. Until yep, there it was again the look, she goes to grab my hand and I move it away. If we go down there again you are getting on that pole. The serious look in my eye makes her think about it for half a second and then she's leading me back down the stairs and towards that oh so familiar platform. This time no one is up there perfect timing, I give her a push and tell her to go on up. She hesitates until some guys gives her just what she needed, at compliment and a shot. With that she was on the pole, knee high red boots, dress and all. I shout out woohoos and sexys here and there, people notice her right away and before you know it she has a little following, money could be in this night after all. The DJ hits the perfect stream of music and she dances and dances, tapped out she steps down into the waiting arms of quite the fan 'Need a drink?' He ask her, a whole new chapter to the night flashed before my eyes, followed directly of thought that we planned a early night and I interject we've got drinks thanks for the offer though. I navigate her through the crowd and back up the stairs, we take a much needed break on the couch and I notice this night is over. I observe C to see if she was feeling the same way or if it would be hard to get her out. With quite the content look I see this was definitely the end of the night, I place a quick call to Steve and we start to say our goodbyes. Hugs and kisses across the board, she and I make our way outside to where smokers are huddled under the heaters, we make our own space and one of the bouncers comes over to talk to C, 'Saw you inside.' he explains 'You have some great moves.' ::vomit, original material only please:: Steve pulls up with perfect timing, C and I just in.

I look over at her and can read all over her face, it was worth throwing caution to the wind and I can't help but agree. We have this one life - do it right.

-n

Photo of taken through out the night at various locals

Old School Playa

Play the game much?
I have to admit this question took me a little by surprise, while most don't. But for a virtual stranger to one accuse me of one being a player and than two ask me about it was well...strange. What answer we're they really looking for? Is this one of those instances that I'm suppose to be brutally honest and get all the shock value I deserve? or Was this person really waiting for an answer that would put them at ease in knowing that there is no such thing. Not feeling sassy as usual I shake my head and act like I have no idea what that word even means. They seem immediately put at ease, happy in their own thoughts of life and perhaps of me.

This simple question brings up all kinds of thoughts, What is a player in this day and age? So I look to the examples right around me and find a little of old school and a little new age. Old school comes in the form a looks perfect on paper guy, he has everything going for him. Yet, he still plays the game like he's a pimp ::not in the taking money from tricks kind:: More like he sweet talks all the girls, and doesn't tell the full truth to any of them. When ever I interact with him it makes me wonder why? Maybe a lack in confidence that he can carry more than one girl honestly...maybe he just likes the art of having all these girls in 'love' with him. Why would you want to be constantly on? Never being able to relax, but maybe the adrenalin is enough, all the girls having what they think are real feelings for you, all of them wanting you in the same way, all of them thinking that there is a possibility when there really isn't. I guess it could be entertaining for a hot second, but for life no thanks.

When I look to the other side of the spectrum, I feel like it's the closest that we'll ever get to the good ol' days of free love, that is with all those scary stds running around these days. I get an explanation of, if you're gonna hold something on the side with a main serious thing...you gotta be honest with everyone else. In situations like that you only lie to one person, everyone else has to be understanding of whats real. Once I looked at it that way, you really can get much further that way. Even if there wasn't one person you lied to and you were just honest with everyone in your life. It would be a much easier way to live and enjoy, most people think of guys when I start to talk about things like this. But in this day and age the 'new age' girls are all over the place and killing the market like no other ::yup I just called it a market:: Everything is business around here.
So while guys love to think that they are all a girl needs and the sun/moon in our lives, be put on notice...we are crazy. Alright had to get that out there, but more and more my girlfriends are getting away from the pretense that you must always have a serious boyfriend. Now we lean towards enjoying life, being young, and getting what we need. That being my most important point how often do you meet someone and you like 60% of their person, but there are a few things you would change. Well how about finding someone else who you might like 70% of their person and another you might just like 50% of. But in this equation you like each person for something different so all of those different needs you have are met to the fullest. Someone to have dinner with, someone to rent movies with, someone to hit the town with, someone to love with, or maybe that's a good part of all of them. Sounds pretty nice right? For some people it is, for some it's easy to separate each person and relationship. For others the emotions alone are too much and that's alright the key is knowing yourself enough to say when.

But my question still lingers with me...why in this day and age would you play by the old rules? A time when you could love each person and relationship for what it is, seems like a lot of people would be happier and there would be a lot less of broken heart syndrome. I don't use the word love lightly, but once you find comfort with yourself everything else will come.

-n

Photo of the Lincoln Memorial

Head Sleeper?

Perhaps you're more of a Blowjob Gladiator? 'A what?!' My girlfriends gives me a shocked look surprised that this question came out of my mouth. I give an explanation of my new terms, the sleeper is a girl who you would never think gives head until you're hooking up with her and she's all about it. The gladiator...well that is a girl who 'kills' blowjobs she is just great at them and loves doing it to boot. With a little more poise about her she takes a moment to think, while my other girlfriend is all over it. She bust in with 'I love sex...I'm a Gladiator!' I can't help but laugh ::thanks for that:: we all know she loves sex and loves talking about it. It's a wonderful part of her personality, she's comfortable with herself and confident enough to open up to us.

I turn back to the more hesitant of the group, Well? The only reason I push so hard is because part of the argument that started this piece was my claim that I could see a 'sleeper' a mile away and guys just don't have that ability. I watch the wheels turn, and am interested when I realize she is trying to think of a way to get out of answering, while my original line of questions was to find out if she was a sleeper. I had strong doubt knowing her as well as I do, she really is not into oral (getting or receiving) and that is a damn shame. I do however take comfort in the fact that my gut is right and I can continue with my side of the topic. 'I'll do it, but I'd rather just have sex.'

You know, you can do both.

I can tell this is a conversation she needs a drink for, so I retrieve one of my favorite Pinot Noir's from the kitchen and pour everyone a glass. She looks to me thankfully as I hand her a glass but still a little pensive, so I move across the room to sit in my favorite chair, so she doesn't catch on that this whole conversation is about her. When I planned to do research I always look directly around me for sources she was the only one out of my girlfriends that I didn't talk about much from the bedroom. A pretty girl, I think to my self... What do guys see when they look at her? Do they see the shy exterior she likes to put out or are they really looking past that with excitement to 'unleash the beast' or at least lioness. Back to the subject at hand, I decide to by pass any mind games and go right for the kill ::its more my style:: Have you ever had a guy give you oral than have sex with you? She watches her wine coat the walls of the glass for a moment...then answers without looking up. 'No, but I've done it the other way around.' Well that's a start isn't it. The statement made with only slight tease. I leave it at that for a moment content with the step she had just taken and ask the other girls a few questions.
What's your favorite part about giving head?
- Rendering a guy completely helpless.
What did the last guy do that you loved?
- Couldn't speak, he literally wasn't able to say a word!
'I like the way they watch in amazement if you swallow.' Blank stares as we all turn to the smiling face that has decided to join the conversation, none of us know what to say. So to break the silence she continues with, 'Ya know I don't mind a guy going down on me...but I would much rather do it for him, I can just never really relax when it's the other way around.' Case confirmed we've got a full on 'Head Sleeper' on our hands. She's okay with a guy going down on her, likes sex, but loves giving head.
The conversation spirals into guys giving girls oral and to stories for another day.
Any guys dream, is my first thought of her but I take it to the other half and find all kinds of outlooks on the topic. The most common, a guy just wants a girl who will enjoy all. Of course the good ol' saying Lady on the streets and freak in the sheets came up more than once. But I couldn't help but find the truth in the statement, much of the feedback I got largely included head is great but I want the girl to do because she wants to, because she really enjoys it!
So in reflection I feel that I can link this up with sex in general...there is no person guy or girl who wants to have to cheer on the other person the whole time. If you hop into bed with me I want you to bring some confidence with you ::walk the talk, if you will:: Trying new things is great, asking me about them is very considerate, but if there is something you want...just say it. Now that I think about it that is a great rule of thumb in general if you want head and your not sure if this girl is into it, just ask. There is nothing to loose!

-n

The Traveling Heart

It has so much to offer to some lucky person.

Stops...just long enough to tease.

*Poof* gone before your very eyes and emotions.

Filling your mind with thoughts of what if, one day, if only.

Consuming you, to the point when every thought and movement of the day belongs to it.

This magical fit doesn't even know, jumping around and taking you along.

Rather you follow waiting for the perfect moment that plays over and over again.

Feelings bubble over to the point where you scream in utter outrage or the tears you try to will away just keep coming. When is enough...enough? How long will the travels be this time? It doesn't quite matter because wait is all you can do. With an option of action being a risk of a shattered heart, maybe you should adapt. Becoming your own traveling heart, if staying in one place doesn't fill the need, then find comfort in the movement of travel. Perhaps ending somewhere new or back at home. Which brings me to that terrible saying 'Home Is Where The Heart Is' who came up with that?! It's terrible, what if my heart is in more than one place. And what if my heart is no place at all? I love myself, so I suppose for now that is good...it keeps my heart right here where I can watch it. Even if it wants to follow.

Quick and simple are my thoughts on this traveling heart.

-n

Photo of a Traveled Heart