Pit Solo

A dark place never seen, yet listened to explicitly.  With just a twist the soul is plunged into the depths, nothing but the sound rushing over head.  Weight from the growth pulling...pushing...crushing.  Even as you keep the horizon in view loss of control eats what is left of sanity, taking your thoughts.  There is no need to grasp.  At anything.  This trip, this rush, this torture is for you alone, self induced, concern is pushed away.  Pulling from deep down, stifle with out a choice, suffocation threatens until survival kicks in and is held more sacred than the heart.

I lied through my teeth, fighting the feeling the crept up and seemed to cripple me.  Once welcome butterflies flew away and I was left with a knotting pain in the pit of my stomach.  Tears pushed at the rims of my lashes, all to maintain a feeling of false control, to avoid breaching anything we might not make it back from.  The sensation that came from the pit of my stomach was only second to that of my breaking heart, cracking in the way it so often does.  Always the same stress fractures waiting for just the right amount of pressure.  As you lay your head down with promises of sweet dreams, I plot on how to mend these few pieces with a sweet dream of my own in the back of my mind, that you might mend them for me.

-n

Photo courtesy of David Barber @odoketa; http://www.davidbarber.org/

Daily Combo

Dark blue with light blue dots

and

pink with green dogs

-n

Daily Combo

Black lace
and
Bright Red with White and Silver Stars

-n

Final Tone

"If there's love..."
Putting ourselves through nothing less than torture for an ending that is so un-certain, we dare not imagine what things could become. The promise of someday, down the line, in the future...are all reasons we hold on and put time into people who might not be the right person for you. Taking the needed chance on life and the people that are brought into it, the leap we're all afraid of but all want to take. As much as people tell themselves they don't want to loose control of their actions, broken down into pet names, farmers markets and the like. Women and men do want it...to care about someone so much you scream and cry.
To be cared about.
Simply being the priority or seemingly being the priority, settling for the forethought in someones mind. Begging for just a corner of their heart, a tiny part for you to claim your own for that tiny split second. Dreading the moment you feelings of utter contentment and destroyed into nothing less than a pile on the floor, the kind that you kick around the debris a little to see if there is anything worth salvaging.
Salvation.
Once you've come through a relationship and the key term being through, moving forward and starting something else. You may have fond feeling, you many have a grudge sitting between your shoulders, it may be that you picked up a little jaded chip. As you look forward to what is to come, it may not be a clear picture, you may not be able to see past the explosion of used tissues that surrounds you to know what you're looking for until the feeling come. Finding salvation in another, someone else who will love and care for you and your new scars. This person may be the one that looks past that jaded view you have on trust and future, the one to nurture you back to resemble whole. That person is simply the next.
Thoughts brought up by lyrics from a song heard in passing and now brings me back to a softer time.
"...I just want something to do with it."
All putting ourselves through the gambit of emotions just to be part of something, someone...love.

-n